A few days ago, I had a conversation with a struggling colleague. He’s writing a book, and according to him, it’s brutal. Every day, he sits down to write, and every day, it drains him.
“I’m committed to finishing,” he told me, “but it’s so painful. Sitting there, figuring out what to say, making it all flow—it’s exhausting.”
Here’s the interesting part: this guy is a communications professional. He spends his days crafting press releases, speeches, and messaging strategies for executives. He’s a pro at shaping narratives, finding the right words, and making things sound compelling.
So why was writing a book so hard?
It reminded me of something I once heard about running. Some people lace up their shoes and tell themselves, This will hurt. My legs will burn. I’ll be gasping for air. Others say This will feel good. My body is getting stronger. I’ll find my rhythm.
Same activity. Different mindset.
As we talked, I realized that my friend had already decided that writing a book had to be painful. He had built the narrative before he even sat down to type.
He asked me if I found writing painful, whether it was writing my books (Strategy Driven Leadership with Michael Couch or The Resilience Advantage with Alan Weiss) or my weekly blog.
I thought about it for a moment. “Sometimes,” I said. “Starting a new chapter, digging through research—that can be exhausting. But there are moments of joy, like when a new idea clicks into place, or I finally find the right words.”
Then, something clicked for me, too.
I’m not a natural writer. I never excelled in writing in school. It wasn’t until the last 20 years that I honed my skills. The ideas were always there for me, but translating them into words was hard. Whether it was my doctoral dissertation or this week’s blog, the challenge wasn’t coming up with thoughts—it was putting them into a form that worked.
At its core, getting through something hard requires two things:
1. Mastering the mechanics—Whether it’s writing, running, or leading a team, there are technical skills you have to learn. In writing, it’s grammar, structure, pacing, and metaphor. In leadership, it might be communication, decision-making, and influence. The mechanics take practice, but they can be learned.
2. Finding your rhythm—The part that makes it feel effortless. It’s the flow state, the joy in the process. Creativity, problem-solving, and even endurance work better when you stop fighting them and let them unfold naturally. It’s why the best ideas come in the shower or on a walk—not when you’re forcing them.
I told him, “You already have the hard part—the mechanics. What you need to do is let yourself find the rhythm. If you’re stuck, stop forcing it. Take a walk. Listen to music. Have a conversation. Take a shower. Let the ideas find you instead.”
He paused. Then his face lit up.
