I haven’t written a What’s Next piece since early December. Not because I ran out of ideas, but because one question kept circling without settling.
A recent Wall Street Journal article helped me name it. The problem no one warns you about in work, and work transitions, is not boredom or inactivity. It is the quiet loss of mattering.
That landed because it describes something many people feel during their careers and almost certainly after they step away from them.
Over the past year, I’ve said to my wife, Sheila, more than once, usually half joking, “The difference between you and me is that you have a purpose.” I say it lightly because I am still working, writing, and consulting. But there is truth in it.
Her purpose is clear. It centers on grief and the importance of bringing it out of the shadows rather than avoiding it. She writes, teaches, and lives in ways that help people face loss honestly and creatively. That clarity gives her energy and direction. She knows where she matters and to whom.
What I was really pointing to was not “purpose” in the abstract. It was “mattering.”
I was reminded of this again recently in my consulting work. A financial advisory firm invited me into a conversation with a family office about succession and legacy. The first-generation chairman wanted the deeper questions included. The next-generation CEO chose not to. The focus shifted almost entirely to financial strategy.
The decision made sense on paper. It was efficient, rational, and safe. Still, something human was left out. Questions about identity, meaning, and legacy never quite made it into the room.
This pattern shows up everywhere. In families. In organizations. In careers. In leadership transitions. And in retirement.
It often happens when people step back from what they are doing without being intentional about what they are stepping toward.
Work can be a reliable source of mattering. People depend on you. Decisions run through you. Your presence counts. But that sense of connection can disappear quickly when trust erodes, recognition feels uneven, or a role shifts without warning.
As people move through major transitions such as stepping into a new role, taking on a senior position, changing direction mid-career, or approaching retirement, the cultural script offers a simple solution. Keep moving. Stay busy. Say yes. Fill the calendar. Travel. Volunteer.
Those are activities, not answers.
Mattering is not about staying occupied. It is about being relevant in a way that fits who you are now, not who you were when your calendar was full.
The people who struggle most in these transitions are not lazy or confused. They are isolated. They are used to being central and suddenly feel essential to no one. They are making consequential decisions alone.
That is not a personal failure. It is a design problem.
Which is why I have been rethinking the question What’s next? On its own, it is not enough. A better question is this: Where do I still want to matter, and why?
Answer that well, and the structure follows. Skip it, and the next chapter can feel thin, no matter how comfortable it looks from the outside.
You do not need more activity.
You need clarity about where you still matter.
If you are in the middle of one of these transitions and want to think it through with someone experienced, let’s have a conversation.
